Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
