You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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