i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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