Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
