White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
