I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
