I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
