So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
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First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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