I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
