love makes seman taste better
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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