Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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