So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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