Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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