based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
