Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
