I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
