so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
