A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
