THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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