that's an acceptable place to lick
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
