cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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