He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
