the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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