I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
