your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
