He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
