Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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