I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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