Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize