what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
