had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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