She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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