Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
