Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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