thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
