First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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