i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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