I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
