I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
