WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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