He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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