Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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