I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i believe in u and ur pee
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
