Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
