I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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