I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
