do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
COCAINE IS GR8
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
