Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
