Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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