Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have fence marks all over my body
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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