wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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