idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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