Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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