dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
