Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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