Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
