would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
