I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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