I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
