my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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