i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
